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Monday, February 11, 2013

Rollercoaster: an emotional study of Tuesday

7:45-UP.  Feeling pretty good that I successfully carpooled (like an adult!)  Made it safely to work, all while saving gas.  Did not crash and mildly decapitate my passenger in a fiery wreck, nor did one have to meekly excuse oneself while having to pull into a gas station to use restroom, both scenarios being equally mortifying and causing one much night-before worry.

10:00-UP, UP!  As per a recent personal vow, at break, I grab my coat and dash outside to walk briskly around building. (hm, harboring subconscious hope work facility will crumble and fall if walk around it enough times...?)  Have time to make a cup of coffee for class; feel like an efficient, goal-oriented CHAMP!

14:00-DOWN.  Feel very, very low.  Have to take very first "live" call, from a real person for first time ever.  Feel calmer than expected but can't answer ANY questions posed to me by half a dozen or so of the good citizens of America, and thus ashamedly spend next hour and a half limply transferring calls to other, worthier customer service folk.  Worst bit is when I discover I can not help a caller who is barely intelligible, yet very polite with me and who is most likely a shut-in, and while transferring him, accidentally hang up instead.  Feel like heel.   

14:30-DOWN.  One of the few work colleagues I actually spoke to daily, Domingo, gets fired for entirely silly reason.  NOW who will I eat lunch with?  Aghast.

17:20-UP UP.  Complete a whole second carpooling trip, dropping off my fellow carpoolette with nary a scratch to her person.  Am master of carpooling.  What else can I pool...?

17:35- DOWN DOWN.  Devastation.  Part-time internship concerning study abroad sends polite email rejecting me.  WHY?!?!  I was probably going to turn them down anyway as job was mostly sales-related and cold-calling but...oh, the injustice to be rejected first!  Sting. 

17:36-18:40-DOWN.  Feeling unloved and lonely; not a work friend nor internship in the world do I have.  I nailed that interview, why would they reject me?  And so soon?  Marinate in feelings of ineptitude, grief and sadness.  Does not matter that did not really want internship at all and got cold, condescending vibe from staff.  Am failure at internships. Forever.

18:45-UP UP UP.  New book I ordered has finally arrived!  The Darling.  God has heard my cries and sent me a book about Charles Taylor and violent unrest in Liberia to cheer me!!

1 comment :

Dave said...

hmmm . . .

pregnancy dates

. . . that's all I got.

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